When you say that your 'milkshake brings all the boys to the yard'...

I think I get part of it but I wonder sometimes if I'm really ignorant or something.  'milkshake' = shaking your ass or dancing, right?  That part, I'm pretty sure of.  Let me ask you something I've been wondering for years...  WTF does 'the yard' mean?  At first, I thought it was some vulgar term for pubic hair but then I remembered that there is no more vulgar term for pubic hair than 'pubic hair'. 

It's obvious that the song means something sexual but I imagine a poor girl making milkshakes and little boys keep coming in and stealing them.  I don't get the sexual innuendo and I am far from naive.  There are only a few things that a yard could mean.

The yard could be literal and milkshakes mean stalkers.  They stand in your yard and watch you make milkshakes through your kitchen window.  Creepy. 

You tell me.  What does it all mean?

Guess who's back!

Hey Bitches!  Guess who decided to stop neglecting her blog of stupid shit...  That's right!  Me.  Well, some updates first off and then I'll move on to the dirt that you came here for.  I got married!  That's right.  Wedding date 11/11/11.

Going off on a quick tangent about my wedding date, I noticed that there is a movie called '11/11/11' and I totally have it ready to watch on my Netflix.

Check the shit out right here: The movie that stole my thunder  It was rated 4/10 so they just damned my wedding date to be forever linked with a 4-out-of-10 rated movie.

Let's move on to more interesting things, shall we?  I'm back in college.  This time, majoring in Biology.  I'm still considering proctology, just to say that I deal with assholes all day but I don't think future-me would think it's as funny as right-now-me does.  Let's talk about my classes!  Why?  Because this is my blog and you read it because you love me!  Plus, I'm a woman so I really like to talk about myself!

Astronomy 1040:  Can I just say that this is my third attempt at this class?  I totally think that space is fascinating and all that shit but Astronomy teachers suck.  I finally got a good one this semester but I still admit that Astronomy isn't really so much my thing.  Why did I take the class then?  Well, Astronomy is the husbands thing.  Mike likes to live life with his head in the stars.  (I'll not admit that I think his love for astronomy is somehow linked to his obsession with Star Wars).

 Biology 1610:  Yeah, 1610.  What does that mean?  That means get a fucking 66% on your first test.  I think this will be the class that blows my great college GPA.  Why am I taking it?  I LOVE biology!  I guess I just need to study a little harder.  I have learned a lot so far though!  Maybe I should have taken Biology 1010 first but who cares?  I'm going to rock this class anyway.

Biology 1615:  It's a Biology Lab that goes along with Bio 1610.  It's pretty much all working in groups (gag me with a spoon).  Let me get it out in the open that I hate working with people.  Even more than that, I hate working with college students.  Why?  Because all college students are like 'fake it until you make it man!'.  Admittedly, I can be that way too but it only effects my grades when I do things my way.  Also, considering that most of the people in both of my Bio classes are Bio majors, I don't like people showing me up.  

Math 1050:  This is the homework whore class.  Do I need to say anything else about math?  Other than, for some reason, somebody decided that 1050 should be 'college algebra' and it doesn't make sense to me.

I guess I got all the talking done that I felt like doing.  have a good day guys!  And don't hesitate to let me know any subjects that you think I should blog about!

Halloween 2011

Okay so, my year has been very interesting so far!  Breakup, being engaged, soon to be married!  But Halloween will come every year and, with it, fun and exciting things!  The first thing was my fiance's costume... 

Let me just tell you how much I love him for doing this!  My man is a stallion.  Not only did he wear this to a party but it was REALLY cold outside!  What a trooper!  Yes, he has a Darth Vader mask and a Light Saber.  <3

Another thing is that my work was having us carve pumpkins.  I did an awesome Jack Skellington pumpkin that Mike sent me a picture of.

I think I did a good job and we will see if I win the contest.  Whee!!!  There are some neat ones here at work.  I <3 this holiday!

Mike sent me a picture from school of some people in costumes.

I <3 college kids too. 

Happy Halloween!  Everybody have a GREAT, SAFE and WONDERFUL day!

Now that Spring Break is over...

Well, let me just say that I think College Breaks should be longer.  I will also let it be known that as soon as this semester is over, I plan on being drunk until next semester starts.

Speaking of drinking, I found out something interesting the other day (maybe the other week) Everybody knows the body has all kinds of different cells that have different functions.  Well turns out that the mitosis you hear so much about in biology classes from elementary school on does not take place in all parts of the body; THE BRAIN BEING ONE OF THEM THAT IT DOESN'T!!!  This means that your parents were right when they told you that drinking, smoking weed, doing drugs and hitting your head make you dumber.  Those brain cells that you killed (or are killing) will never come back.

Now that I let you know this AFTER Spring Break, I hope you decided to drink responsibly.  :D   

Update about my fish

So, my fish are pretty fantastic.  I didn't have time to finish my last post but, it has been a week or mourning.  

 I tried to tell myself she was sleeping but I knew better.  She wasn't in good health when we got her and she just couldn't take it anymore.  

RIP Angel 
You were my first fish in my first fish tank and my first White Angelfish as well.  May you be reincarnated somewhere far more beautiful than my livingroom.

Let's talk about car-jackers...

So, Chris ran to the gas station down the street at about 10PM to buy something.  As he was leaving, a guy held his fingers to Chris' back pretending that they were a gun and insisted that Chris give him a ride.  This is how it went down:

Guy: "You're gonna gimme a ride"

Chris: "Um, no I'm not"

Chris gets in car...

Guy : knocks on window "If you don't roll the window down, I'mma break it"

Chris rolls the window down

Guy puts his hands on the door...

...

...

...

Chris punches the guy in the face.

Now, you may think this isn't funny but I will tell you two things about it that are funny...  actually, three things.

1. Retards -

Obviously, if the guy thought that he could get away with using his fingers as a fake gun, he was retarded.  Also, I would think he would ask for the keys if he were trying to steal the car.

2. Chris punched him in the face!  When is somebody getting punched in the face NOT funny???

3. We lived in a horrible area in Washington for about a year.  There were shootings next door, there were gangs everywhere you looked and people were always worried about somebody CARJACKING them.  It never happened there!  BUT, in the past two years, we have had somebody try to break into our house (story coming up) and somebody try to carjack Chris!

Okay, so here's the story about the guy that tried to break into the house.  We were living by the Ballpark (known to be a bad area but living there makes you realize that the reputation should be worse).  I went walking with a friend to meet up with another friend and Chris went on his way home to meet us.  

When Chris got to the house, there was a guy on the patio trying to break the door open.  Here is how that went:

Chris: standing on the sidewalk and staring at the guy "Hey man, what are you doing?"

Guy: "None of your business"

Chris: "Well, it kind of is my business because that's my house..."

Chris walks up to the patio

Guy swings at Chris.  Chris grabs the guy and throws him to the ground from the patio.  In the process of being pulled down, the guy grabs Chris' favorite shirt (at the time) and rips it off of him.  While the guys is down, Chris punches him in the face repeatedly.  The guy gets up and starts running.  Chris takes chase and as he is running, remembers that the button on the pants is missing.  And then HIS PANTS FALL DOWN!  So here Chris is, chasing a guy down a dark alley with his pants around his ankles!  Sounds like the beginning to a really good gay porn.
At least it isn't as bad as this:

The moral of the story:  

It doesn't matter where you live, the crime finds you sometimes.

These stories always end with Chris punching somebody in the face.

Make sure your pants always have the button or you'll end up in a dark alley with your pants around your ankles.

Productive Procrastination

All day today, I have been telling myself that I need to get homework done.  Well, you know how much I've actually gotten done?  None.  

Instead of making up excuses of why I don't want to do things, I find things that could be more productive or more important.  For instance, I've rewritten my budget 3 times, filed my taxes online, done several online quizzes and finally called the school on my grant that they haven't sent out yet.  I guess I could say I got some things done but it's a super lazy day and I have so many things due on Monday!  

For some reason, when I googled budget, I came up with this:

I think the biggest problem with this is that they all look happy but who am I to judge?  Anyway...


This time, my excuse (even though I only have FIVE followers) was thinking "Hey, maybe my blog followers are waiting for an update.  Maybe if I update it now, they will all send my blog to 5 of their friends and so on and I'll be an over night celebrity!"  No.  I didn't really think that would happen but illogical thinking always tells me what to do when I should be doing something else.

Not only that but I can thank Amber for this being stuck in my head STILL:





I keep asking myself what is so wrong with having it stuck in my head and I can't come up with any GOOD reasons to be ashamed of it.  I bring this up because, at least 5 times today, I have made an excuse to procrastinate HAVING TO DO WITH THIS VIDEO!  Telling myself "OMG, did they really say ___?" or "Maybe if I listen to it, I can get it out of my head."

As a matter of fact, I have pulled apart the video and decided that Narwhals are NOT unicorns as mentioned in this post this post by Amber!  It's very obvious that they are cousin creatures!  Like the wolf and a dog.

The moral of the story:  Don't put things off and if you do, make up GOOD reasons for it!