Let's talk about car-jackers...

So, Chris ran to the gas station down the street at about 10PM to buy something.  As he was leaving, a guy held his fingers to Chris' back pretending that they were a gun and insisted that Chris give him a ride.  This is how it went down:

Guy: "You're gonna gimme a ride"

Chris: "Um, no I'm not"

Chris gets in car...

Guy : knocks on window "If you don't roll the window down, I'mma break it"

Chris rolls the window down

Guy puts his hands on the door...

...

...

...

Chris punches the guy in the face.

Now, you may think this isn't funny but I will tell you two things about it that are funny...  actually, three things.

1. Retards -

Obviously, if the guy thought that he could get away with using his fingers as a fake gun, he was retarded.  Also, I would think he would ask for the keys if he were trying to steal the car.

2. Chris punched him in the face!  When is somebody getting punched in the face NOT funny???

3. We lived in a horrible area in Washington for about a year.  There were shootings next door, there were gangs everywhere you looked and people were always worried about somebody CARJACKING them.  It never happened there!  BUT, in the past two years, we have had somebody try to break into our house (story coming up) and somebody try to carjack Chris!

Okay, so here's the story about the guy that tried to break into the house.  We were living by the Ballpark (known to be a bad area but living there makes you realize that the reputation should be worse).  I went walking with a friend to meet up with another friend and Chris went on his way home to meet us.  

When Chris got to the house, there was a guy on the patio trying to break the door open.  Here is how that went:

Chris: standing on the sidewalk and staring at the guy "Hey man, what are you doing?"

Guy: "None of your business"

Chris: "Well, it kind of is my business because that's my house..."

Chris walks up to the patio

Guy swings at Chris.  Chris grabs the guy and throws him to the ground from the patio.  In the process of being pulled down, the guy grabs Chris' favorite shirt (at the time) and rips it off of him.  While the guys is down, Chris punches him in the face repeatedly.  The guy gets up and starts running.  Chris takes chase and as he is running, remembers that the button on the pants is missing.  And then HIS PANTS FALL DOWN!  So here Chris is, chasing a guy down a dark alley with his pants around his ankles!  Sounds like the beginning to a really good gay porn.
At least it isn't as bad as this:

The moral of the story:  

It doesn't matter where you live, the crime finds you sometimes.

These stories always end with Chris punching somebody in the face.

Make sure your pants always have the button or you'll end up in a dark alley with your pants around your ankles.